The Ten Suggestions, by Phil Fountain

People, often younger people, come to me for advice. The best advice I can give them is usually, “Don’t come to me for advice.”

I’m not a sage or guru or teacher. I’m not a doctor (though I once played one…

They were bound to find out sooner or later, or How I lost two gigs in one week

The following is a transcription of a telephone conversation that may or may not have occurred between myself and Website Mistress Doni Greenberg.

(Phone rings…)

Philbert: Hello?

Doni: Hello? Phil? This is Doni Greenberg.

P: Oh. Hi, Doni.

D: Phil, tomorrow is Monday and you…