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The men said, “I do”
Tuesday I arrived so early inside The Mall in downtown Redding that the Shasta County Clerk’s office wasn’t open.
I was there for an important occasion: A gay couple would be the first to marry in Shasta County after the California Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriages.
But this wasn’t just any gay couple, this was my former colleague, Steve McCoy, and his partner Bill Champion.
To know Steve is to love him. He was the paper’s sharp-witted, belly-laughing, eye-twinkling, frequent-hugging, uber-motivational classifieds manager. He left the paper last year.
He and Bill have an antique store. These men have been together for decades. In sickness and health. Through good times and bad.
As I waited for the county clerk’s office to open, I craned my neck to see The Mall’s ceiling. I reminded myself to get a good look at it, because starting next week that roof will come down.
Poor, tired old mall. It’s time to let some light and air inside.
In some ways, the timing was perfect for the same-sex weddings at the county clerk’s office, inside The Mall.
It was long past the time to allow gay couples to marry legally, just as it was long past the time to remove The Mall’s roof.
As it turned out, the wedding I’d come to watch didn’t happen. Steve and Bill decided to postpone their ceremony to Aug. This would allow them more time to finalize personal paperwork and plan a bigger wedding production.
But Steve and Bill had a proud distinction Tuesday: They were the first same-sex couple to obtain a marriage license in Shasta County since the court’s ruling.
But first, I met their friends, Randall McNames and his partner Victor Kazakevich. They’ve been together for more than 30 years, and decided to wed Tuesday. Steve and Bill stood up for them as witnesses.
Victor asked media to not publish his photo.
“Come on,” Randall said. ”It’s all right.”
Victor stuck by his request, and then mentioned the brothers who murdered a Shasta County gay couple some years back.
“They’re on our minds,” Victor said.
The county clerk’s office opened. Everyone filled the lobby.
It was a happy place where dedicated, loving couples like Steve and Bill obtained their marriage license.
It was a monumental day when committed, loving couples like Randall and Victor were married in a ceremony officiated by county clerk, Kathy Darling.
Their wedding was fairly typical: Flowers. Family. Friends. Smiles. Hugs. Kisses. Tears of joy.
Some things, however, were not typical.
For example, at least four law enforcement officers were there: Two from the Shasta County Sheriff’s Department stayed inside the county clerk’s lobby, two from the Redding Police Department remained outside the clerk’s doors inside The Mall.
That’s something you don’t see at most weddings.
The only ripple in the morning’s events involved a scripture-reciting woman inside The Mall who hoped to change the gay couples’ minds with a box of Bibles. (Steve told her he had his own Bible, thank you, a gift from his mother.)
Luckily, the law enforcement turned out to be just an extra, but unnecessary precaution.
The other strange part was the abundance of cameras that belonged not just to friends and family, but media.
Why not?
It was a joyous moment, worthy of historical preservation.
Congratulations to all the couples.
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Congratulations to the happy couples. It is embarrassing it took the government so long to provide them the full respect of the law.
Congratulations to them both!
A wonderful story about a happy occasion! Thank you for covering it. Darcie’s right, it’s embarrassing it took the government so long to provide the gay members of our society the full respect of the law that they deserve. It’s always seemed ironic to me that the same people who have complained the loudest about the “gay lifestyle,” implying that it led to promiscuity, are the ones who are the most vociferous in their contention that our gay brothers and sisters shouldn’t be allowed to marry. I am very, very happy for my delightful and loving gay friends who have been in committed relationships for years that they have this path available to them now. And I’m really glad, too, that the police presence ended up being unnecessary here in town. Can you imagine what it would be like to fear for your life for simply being who you are? Most of us, thankfully, don’t have to experience that firsthand. But I’m proud of my community today. And proud of my state. And thanks, again, Doni, for the lovely article.
I feel like California finally joined the 21 century. Maybe the other states will join us. About time.
Why do people bring up the Bible when protesting gay marriage? I truly believe that God would want love and harmony in this world however it came. If more of us were in love and at peace with ourselves, peace throughout the world would be close at hand.
To all of you that are taking that big step “Congratulautions and I hope you have a wonderful full marriage ahead of you.”
I have been to several ‘Commitment Ceremonies’ for gay couples and it always felt sad that this was the best they could do. HURRAY for all these folks! Finally is right!!! It never feels good to know that others don’t have the same basic rights the rest of us have. My husband is black and I’m white. When we got married 40 years ago it was still illegal in 13 states. We had a heck of a time finding someone willing to marry us before he shipped out to Vietnam. No luck including the army so we had to wait until he got home and we moved to Fort Ord. Now Obama is running for President and ALL folks who want to have the right to marry. It’s about time but even now it will be back on the ballot in November. I can attest to the fact that it takes too much time for people to change but I truly believe change they will if the rest of us continue to voice our support for everyone of us to have equal rights under the law.
I wish these couples all the love happiness I have had in the last 40 years. It can be a struggle but well worth the ride, in my experience.
Great story and best wishes to all!
My partner and I are elated to have the opportunity for equal rights. It’s amazing to think how progressive our American culture has become over the past 50 years.
Wonderful story Doni, My best wishes to the couples. May you live in peace and harmony.
Congratulations to all involved. And a thumbs-up to Kathy Darling for continuing to officiate weddings. Butte County’s Candace Grubb joined a few other California county clerks in declining to officiate new weddings — ostensibly for budget cuts despite dubious timing (and despite SF Mayor Gavin Newsom’s offer for aid).
Congratulations to all the newlywed couples. It’s about time!
Thank you for the article, Doni.
Congratulations to all couples who are living in long-standing, dedicated, and loving relationships–cheers for party A and party B!!
I guess we know where you stand on the issue. I’m a bit dissapointed that your views on this subject are on display regardless of right or wrong.
It is about time! Brandon. Your wedding cake is on me!
Love and openess, like sunlight make things grow and flourish. Fear and repression retard growth.
Bless every couple who open their hearts to one another and make the world a better place.
Congratulations to the couples, and to you for a great story, Doni, about a great moment in our nation’s history. Maybe we’re finally starting to realize that discrimination of any kind isn’t just un-American, it’s just plain wrong.
But for those who don’t get that, there’s always censorship to try to stifle the truth. Commenter #12 is “disappointed” that you’ve dared to “display your views” on this subject.
FYI, Mike, that’s called JOURNALISM.