RSS Snakes alive !
By Doni Greenberg • May 14th, 2008 • Category: THOUGHT: What's on Doni's mind
The most amazing snake stories slithered into our living room the other evening between six friends. Fun, fun, fun. For more than an hour these incredible tales crawled between me, Bruce and two couples. Basically, we had ourselves a snake-telling extravaganza.
I cannot choose my favorite snake story, because they were all wonderful in their own way. But here are some highlights:
One couple, who live in the boondocks but have a gorgeous garden, complete with a koi pond, once welcomed new neighbors to their neck of the woods with a lovely patio meal.
Mid-bite, he leaned over to her and whispered, “Honey, don’t look now, but a large snake just grabbed your most precious mother koi.” Of course, she looked, just in time to see a massive garden snake with her biggest, most prized koi.
The snake made its escape across the lawn, with the flopping fish clamped tightly in the snake’s mouth. But the snake was not fast enough for my friend, normally the picture of class and grace. She dashed after the snake, grabbed it, yanked the koi from the snake’s jaws, tossed the stunned koi back in the pond, flung the startled garden snake the other direction and resumed dinner, as if nothing had happened.
Can’t say if the new neighbors ever returned, but the snake didn’t.
Bruce shared a couple of whoppers, such as the time (before he had the good sense to find and marry me) his golden retriever, Chelsea, vomited onto the floor a 3-foot long, whole, horribly decayed rattlesnake. (The dog was fine. Felt much better, thank you.)
And just last summer Bruce was on the ground futzing with our drip system by a butterfly bush when he felt a bump by his leg. He looked down and saw a small rattler heading up the outside seam of Bruce’s jeans.
Glory be the power of adrenalin. It propelled Bruce into one of those yaba-daba-doo air-churning cartoon figures that allowed him to simultaneously roll, leap and jump away from the snake. But alas, when Bruce returned with a shovel to deal with the snake, it was long gone.
Hours later, when Bruce remembered he’d never finished fixing the drip by that butterfly bush, he found the same snake in the same place.
I pulled my car into the driveway after work to see my husband, a crazed look on his face, repetedly stabbing a shovel into the ground.
Honey, I’m hoooome.
Another friend, who’s not a fan of snakes now, told a story that probably created his snake aversion. He was a teenager then who lived in the South. He was mowing the grass one day when he noticed a thick black tangle of a wiggly snake body dangling from a large hole in a huge tree.
Being a good Southern country boy, he ran to the house for a gun, aimed and shot the snake. Blood ensued, down the tree. But the snake stayed put.
The friend threw up.
Later, the friend’s father came home, got a ladder, retrieved the dead snake and cut it open to investigate the snake’s lumpy body. Apparently it had feasted on a nest full of baby birds that had hatched inside that tree hole.
Our friend threw up again. (This was a common detail with these stories. Clearly, these are after-dinner tales.)
The man married to the koi-saver told of a friend who went under a home’s crawl space to shoot a giant rattler. Amazingly, the rattler died, and the man was unhurt. (How do you spell ricochet?)
Another day perhaps I’ll share some of the other critter stores told that night.
But today, I’m still thinking of snakes. I just can’t get enough of them.
Come on, let’s hear yours.
*shudders* what have we done to deserve this subject matter? *now staring at feet in paranoia.*
I have never liked snakes but I allow them to live - EXCEPT rattlesnakes that come onto my property. Some years ago one of my cats was bitten by a rattler. It was $400 JUST for the anti-venom, never mind the rest of the bill, and ever after that I have sent many a rattlesnake to snake heaven.
***bad case of the creeps now***
We were still getting used to the idea of living in the Wild Country of Cottonwood, and it was summertime, so the door to the screen porch was open. Around midnight when I was heading to bed, I discovered a snake and a frog rolling and thrashing across the dining room floor, engaged in a battle to the death. During their struggle, they gathered up copious amounts of Golden Retriever hair (I hope no one is trying to eat at the computer this morning) — the writhing critters and the matted hair produced what looked a hideous, squirming mammalian slug under the dining room table.
I made Craig deal with it.
Good Morning Doni, As one Igonian to another, may I suggest calf-high muck boots for you? That is now my preferred foot attire. I wear them almost always when I am outside in the garden or orchard. Here’s why: I dispatched one small ratttler with a shovel last year under a tree in the yard that my grandkids had been playing under the day before. My husband had told me that they wouldn’t crawl over grass (yeah right). A few days later I was standing at the entrance to the woodshed calling my kitty (in flip flops no less -I won’t do that again) and looked down to see a rattler , over 3 1/2 feet long and FAT, less that 2 feet away. Fortunately, it was somewhat lethargic. Dave was home so he got the duty. On another day one I saw crawled away before I could grab something; I went to the feed store the next day and asked for snake-killing shovels -of course the clerk rolled his eyes- which I keep handy. I also now own a shotgun so that I can dispatch the big ones when Dave is not here. I hate killing creatures, but can’t abide them where my grandchildren play.
Thanks, all you country women, for your comments. Andrea, are muck boots like rain boots? No more flip flops outside for me. (BTW, a few weeks ago a neighbor from down the road stopped by to warn us that they’d found a mountain lion lounging on the grass under a tree near their house, where grandkids had played the day before. Yikes!)
We’re rural Cottonwood off Bowman Rd and don’t have/see many snakes over the last 11 years. We do have a ‘flock’ of outside cats and another of turkeys - both of which are good at keeping the snake population to a minimum. I’m told that a snakes worst enemy is a cat and their claws. Maybe that’s why the mountain lion was visiting - good eats !
By the way, if you have outside water - for stock/horses/dogs - put some white vinegar in it - about 1/8 cup to about a 2+ gallon pan. Helps to keep the flying critters off the animals - amazing to see the results. We have deer come in (from wherever they go to for their winter) that are constantly twitching and about a week later are nearly free of flies/itchy things.
The yard kitty’s also stop scratching so much too, but I do put the flea control on all of them. Haven’t gotten close enough to the deer to do that. They all like the water and the birds love their bath time too.
Doni, re your question about Muck Boots (which,by the way, is the brand name). The bottom is rubberized, but the top is a heavy, “spongy” kind of material…not sure what it is called. I really like them because I can easily slip them on and off - hands free. I hope I am not deluding myself that they are snake proof; Dave seems to think they will be ok. Seems like it would be pretty hard for a snake to bite thru. I bought mine at Hawes Farm Supply, altho I imagine they would be available at most ranch stores. I think I paid around $60; well worth the price because I seem to wear them several times a day all year round, as they are great rain/mud boots also. Andrea
P.S. We saw the hugest bear we’ve ever seen coming home from a picnic on Mother’s day. He was awesome.
OK, I guess I’ll have to share my favorite kitty/snake story. (I have many, btw.)
This one involved a very petite kitty named Molly, who liked to bring tiny garden snakes into the house. The first time she did it, I started yelling in horror, of course, not being a snake fan by any stretch of the imagination. She looked at me as if to say “What is your problem? I bring you a gift and this is how you react!”
My husband reacted in a different way the time she brought one for him when I wasn’t home. He bragged to me later how he “handled” the snake by chasing it with a 22″ framing hammer, apparently all over the dining room. So glad he at least cleaned up the mess before I got home!
Molly continued to bring snakes into the house and I continued to take them outside until she finally seemed to understand that snakes were a better outdoor gift.
Well, this is not a great story but it was my introduction to the Western rattler when I first moved here. We were building our house in the Trinity foothills, starting in May, and clearing brush which we couldn’t burn. I had started some plants in a set of clay pots and went to move them one day. They were sitting right next to a big pile of brush, as it happens, and I was a city kid so I wasn’t all that cognizant of wildlife habits or cautions. And I had never heard a rattlesnake before so when the very large, coiled rattlesnake lying in this pile of brush started shaking his rattles at me, it didn’t penetrate at first. Until your brain makes the connection with your genetic programming, it sounds like rustling leaves, or a flying locust. At least, that’s what it sounded like to me. It wasn’t until some motion caught my eye while I was obliviously continuing to reach down to pick up a pot - the motion of the rattlesnake weaving frantically through the manzanita limbs to strike at me - that I realized what the sound was.
Then I did the worst possible thing I could have done. I tripped over my own feet in my haste to get out of there and ended up sprawled on the ground within striking distance. Miraculously, probably with one of those adrenalin spurts that allows mothers to lift buses off their children, I managed to scramble up and away, unharmed.
For a while after that, anything that sounded even remotely like a rattlesnake sent me shooting up about ten feet into the air.
But now, even though I have a friend who got bit and our dog got bit once, both of which were terrible, frightening, painful, and costly, I don’t find myself snake phobic. We occasionally get them on our land and we tend to chase them away from the house. They get the message and go elsewhere. Of course, I’ve never had one nuzzle up to me like they did Bruce. That might give me an entirely different perspective. But, like poison oak, they are a key part of the ecosystem. They don’t want to expend their venom on us if they can possibly help it, they eats lots and lots of rodents, and they themselves get eaten by king snakes. If we’re careful in snake country and pay attention, we can usually avoid confrontation. Having kids around or grandkids, though, or even a curious dog - that would make me feel differently, too.
I’ve noticed they do like potted plants, so be extra careful when moving or watering them. Also, rattlesnake meat is delicious
Have you tried your hand at cooking any, Andrea?